Monday, March 29, 2010

Reese's Universe

While perusing the aisles at K-Mart the other day while waiting for Robb to get the medicine he needed for his stomach problems, I came across this lip balm. Reese's Pieces Lip Balm? I don't ordinarily use lip balm, but you know I had to try it. So I did. It really does taste like Reese's Pieces. And there were even more like it. Sodas, candies, cookies, cakes; you name it and it was represented.
By the way, if you were wondering about the taste of the crémant we brought back from France, it was almost as good as Veuve Clicquot. We've also tried, since we've been back, La Grande Dame. It's a much more expensive champagne by Veuve Clicquot. We didn't like it as much as the regular champagne at a quarter of the price. Crémant costs about a third as much as Veuve Clicquot, at least the stuff we get locally. In France, of course, it's even less expensive because they don't have to pay to import it.

US Lawmakers Eyeing National ID Card. You should be very scared.

By 2005, information was doubling every 36 months.
By 2008, information was doubling every 11 months.
By 2010, information was doubling every 11 hours.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

À la prochaine, mes amis

Monday, March 22, 2010

New Computers

NOTE TO MONITOR MANUFACTURERS: If I wanted a mirror, I would buy one.
Robb and I both bought new computers. His is this desktop Asus. Mine is this Acer laptop. He now has to get used to the differences between XP and Vista, his new OS. I now have Windows 7 on both computers, my HP desktop and the new Acer laptop. My old laptop was an Acer also, and I really liked it. so when I had the chance to upgrade, I took it. The old one (which I gave to Robb) has a 17" screen, the new one has a 17.3" screen.
We got a new laundry company. We should have bought our own equipment, but the board decided to go with another company instead. The laundry equipment is new (although they are the same make and model as the old equipment) and so is the new,higher cost. The new machines work with a card (like a credit card) to which you must add money via a machine. Sort of like an ATM but you put money in instead of getting money out.
Scary stuff: U.S. history textbooks could soon be flavored heavily with Texas conservatism.
Osama bin Laden will never face trial in the United States. One wonders when these people are going to admit that Bin Laden is already dead and has been for several years.
A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner.
> Finally it is agreed they should meet at the Gausthof zum Löwen restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.
> 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group again discusses where they should meet. Finally it is agreed they should meet at the Gausthof zum Löwen because the food there is very good and they have a fine wine selection.
> 10 years later at 60 years of age, the group again discusses where they should meet. Finally it is agreed they should meet at the Gausthof zum Löwen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.
> 10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group again discusses where they should meet. Finally it is agreed they should meet at the Gausthof zum Löwen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.
> 10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group again discusses where they should meet. Finally it is agreed they should meet at the Gausthof zum Löwen because they have never been there before.
À la prochaine, mes amis

Monday, March 15, 2010

Big News

WOW!!! BIG NEWS!!! I just won a FREE round-trip flight to Paris on OpenSkies, a business-class-only airline. OpenSkies started operation as L'Avion. We flew with them to Paris the summer of 2008. The problem is that it's only one ticket, so Robb would have to buy one. Then, we would have to fly to New York, because they only offer service between New York and Paris (or Amsterdam), though I've seen they are planning to fly from DC also one of these days. I was very excited to win something for the first time in my life, and fired off all the information they wanted. Then, it occurred to me that it was very possibly a phishing scam, so I spent the rest of the night worrying about that. Finally, the next day (Thursday), I got up and forwarded the email to OpenSkies and asked if it was real or a scam. Hallelujah, they replied that it was indeed a legitmate email and I had really won a round-trip ticket to Paris.
Monday, Robb and I drove down to Miami Beach because his cousins were in town visiting their mother. Okay, their mother is really Robb's cousin, the others are her daughters and I don't know what to call them. Elandra lives in Texas. Claudia lives in New Jersey. They're usually really nice ladies, but Monday evening, they did nothing but rant and rave about their other sister (who of course was not present). After the first hour, I wanted to tell them to shut the f--k up. I didn't, but it was not an enjoyable evening and when we finally left around 11 PM, I had a raging headache. I told Robb I hope I don't have to go through anything like that for a long, long time.
Singalong-a sulcus: How brains hear music and lyrics.
If, like me, you hate to sit through all those trailers on your DVD, here's a trick from CNET.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Church Bulletins
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
À la prochaine, mes amis

Monday, March 08, 2010

Positive Two-fer

I really LOVE two-fers. We went to the market today needing bleach. The first thing we spotted was a two-fer on Doritos. Actually, Robb spotted it after I had grabbed just one bag. Then, we went to get the bleach and son-of-a-gun, another two-fer.

There is a guy in our building, on the second floor, who we've recently discovered is a genuine nutcase. He seems like an affable guy, and in person, he is. But everytime something annoys him, no matter how trivial, he will post a note about it. For awhile, notes were appearing all over the place and no one knew from whence they were coming. Then, one day, he was caught in the act. He was never told, so he has no idea that we know it's him, which makes the whole thing even me anyway.

Speaking of loonies in our complex.....there was a couple living down the hall who were evicted yesterday. I didn't know the husband, but the wife seemed like a really nice person. Turns out, neither were very nice and they were about the closest thing to trailer trash I've ever met. For months, things had been disappearing from the lobby and no one could figure out where it was going. Upon checking the apartment after they were evicted, most of the stuff was found to be there.

How Black Holes Overcome Centrifugal Force to Suck in Gas.

Robot learns to crawl using artificial muscles. It won't be much longer before the Cylons are here.

Microsoft CEO: Google merits regulatory scrutiny. I agree but, can we say "Pot calling the kettle black"?

Stimulus money goes overseas.

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"

"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.

To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

À la prochaine, mes amis

Monday, March 01, 2010

Squash Education

Squash update. We ate the other half of the acorn squash, but this time I nuked it. It was perfectly done and took only ten minutes. Robb is having health problems (he has no insurance since he retired) so we have been eating a lot of soft vegetables and very little spice. Our doctor gave him ten days worth of antibiotics, which was finished on Friday, but he doesn't feel that much better. He had to have a CAT scan which cost quite a bit, but luckily, he discovered that Florida has some kind of medical payback plan for former government employees, which includes county employees, so he should get most of it back. He also discovered that our doctor charges only half as much if you don't have insurance. That's all very good for those without insurance, but the rest of us are paying for it with higher and higher insurance premiums. As you know, I have Medicare which is basically free. But Medicare only pays 80% of the bill. You must have Medicare Part B to pay the other 20%. Part B is supplied through a private insurance company (I have AvMed) and is NOT free and they just raised the payment for that. I really don't know how much it is, though I think it's a little over a hundred a month now. If you have Social Security, it is taken out of your monthly allowance. I have never received an SS payment without that deduction, so I don't really miss it. But the point is, my Part B deduction is rising because of doctors who charge more for patients with insurance coverage, and if you only have private insurance, your premiums are rising even higher.
WASHINGTON (AP) - Surviving five heart attacks makes former Vice President Dick Cheney pretty unusual - showing that he has good medical care as well as a particularly aggressive form of heart disease. The really important thing to consider here is that this is the exact same health care the government provides for everyone. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Speaking of health care, I think I have a solution. Of course, it will never happen for several reasons, not the least of which is the inability of Americans to get off their collective asses and do something. But, if we were to revolt and tell Congress that they can only have the same health coverage as the rest of us, I guarantee you would see a comprehensive plan passed unanimously within an hour.
The big news today is that Obama wants to pour $900 million into the public school system. He might as well pour it down a toilet or burn it. Florida claims it has poured over $20 billion into the Florida schools and they're just about the worst in the country. Money is NOT the answer to fixing the educational system. You can build the best schools, hire the best teachers, serve the most healthy lunches, but if the kids don't want to learn, you will ultimately fail. The solution doesn't start with money, it starts with motivating the kids to want to learn. This may seem racist, and maybe it is, but the whole educational mess began with the integration of the schools. Because the minority kids were so far behind, some genius came up with the idea of watering down the requirements to get passing grades. It has been a downhill journey since.
And the news just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?
Can you give examples of how the President and Democrats have not been fierce advocates for the civil rights of gay and lesbian Americans?
Deleting his gay civil rights promise from the White House Web site.
Changing his commitment to “repeal” Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, to “changing DADT in a sensible manner.”
Repeatedly defending DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) in court, including just a few weeks ago, even though he didn’t have to.
Making jokes about marriage equality, which President Obama claims he doesn't support, even though he once did.
Comparing gay relationships to incest and pedophilia in a Justice Department brief.
Joking about gay protesters upset about the DOMA brief.
Refusing to provide health care benefits to the partners of gay employees, and then claiming hat DOMA precludes it, when it does not.
Refusing to meet with gay legal groups to discuss how to provide such health benefits within the confines of DOMA.
Claiming that health benefits for partners of federal employees were new, then being caught in a lie.
Here's another chance for Obama to prove he'll implement change: Lawmakers Punt Patriot Act to Obama. Wanna bet on whether or not he signs it? Well, by now you should know that he did indeed sign it. More change we can believe in?
Big Brother is closing in: Leaked ACTA draft reveals plans for internet clampdown. ISPs must snoop on subscribers or face being sued by content owners
A Virginia man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asked her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, to get it warm, and let it go in the morning?" He says, "O.K. Get in the car with it." "Where shall I put it to get it warm?" He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there." "But what about the smell?" "Just hold its little nose."
Three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
À la prochaine, mes amis